Week 14 ... here we come

After her "lucky break" Pomme Anglais has continued pedalling consistently (maybe even slightly frantically) indoors in her preparations for the ride. Tulip and I decided that come rain or shine we would clock up the final 90 miler on Saturday. The weather forecast even looked promising, which is really saying something! It has rained all day every day for the last month ... and apparently we are still officially in "drought", with hose pipe bans still in force, which makes washing the Ark by hand a rather arduous task!!

Naturally at 6am on Saturday morning it was raining AGAIN ... so we geared up and off we went muttering about predictions for May saying it will be the coldest in something between 60 and 100 million years!!  It was, shall we say, unpleasant and even the little bunnies trying to make hazards of themselves criss-crossing the road in front of me didn't really do much to lift the gloom of the sky or my enthusiasm.

I could tell Lara was feeling the same way, as she just wasn't as smooth and responsive as she usually is and every gear change seemed a little hit and miss.  We preserved until, I said to Tulip "this is horrible, why don't we turn around at that place with the pub" (which yes .. ok could be anywhere in the UK I admit) and she said "I was hoping you'd say that but shall we try the tea shop just before the pub".  We worked out that would mean a 70 mile ride, and given the terrible conditions we decided that was good enough. 

Then we came across a cyclist called Clive, who was out training for the Lands End to John O'Groats 9 day ride he is doing at the end of May.  Clive had a puncture, and while he and Tulip fixed it, I finally figured out how to get my bike computer working again (tap tap tap).  Clive had one of those gas bottle things that you re inflate your tyre with ... word of warning here - when you engage it make sure you are wearing gloves as the rapid expansion of the gas makes the cylinder freeze and consequently Clive got a nasty dry ice burn on the palm of his hand ie just where you don't want one ... bon chance for quick healing and the ride Clive.

After drying out in a lovely country tea house while scoffing Victoria sponge we headed back.

 As we tackled the last hill before a 7 mile run home things went horribly wrong. As I changed down the chain went over the last cog and the rear derailleur pulley twisted into my back wheel.
I hauled on the brake (the right hand one which is the front brake, as I was frantically trying to unclip my left foot) came to an abrupt stop and almost went over the handlebars.  Got off to find the derailleur at a very funny angle and the pulley wedged on a spoke eeekkkk!!! Tulip rang home for the Volvo Estate bicycle rescue services, while I carried Lara up the hill to somewhere safe for pick up.

Lara is home now, feeling very sore and unable to move.  She goes into Condor on Tuesday for an assessment and ordering of parts so all will be there for her full overhaul next Saturday ... meantime she's off the road all of this week ... We are not happy, but we are both still in one piece, so I guess we should be grateful for small mercies ... and that if it had to happen at all it was now and not on the ride!!

   

A lucky break .. and I am not referring to the snooker world championships!

Well, I have been a little quiet the last week or so.  Falling off a bike onto hard concrete over Easter damaged my arm more than I initially thought.  It was probably not helped by my Kiwi cycling companion insisting I get back on the bike and continue to ride - yes, and this picture is how I felt ( dialogue went something like this - Kiwi fruit "get back on that bike now", poor Pomme A "but it hurts ....").  Oh, to have the support of your fellow cyclists ....

So, after a visit to A&E (some 4 days later, as I am very tough!) and the necessary x-rays, I was informed I had fractured the radius bone right by the elbow (now I know why I could not straighten my arm and why it hurt so much) and resting the arm in a sling was the only thing to do.

Yesterday I went to the fracture clinic at the Charing X hospital for a follow-up appointment – more x-rays – and was informed that I was very lucky with where the break was ('lucky' would not be the first word I would use ..)!  It had not displaced (despite me playing in a couple of gigs over the weekend!) and I no longer needed the sling.  Physio appointment was needed and moving the arm was now the thing to do. 

When I asked if I could do the ride ..the doctor say ‘No’ …so I insisted on a 2^nd opinion!  Finally his consultant (and boss) said I could ride, but I would have to keep popping the pain killers en route, try not to fall off again (as if that was on the top of my ‘to do’ list ..umm? No!) and stop if it got worse – as I could do more damage ..eeek!

So, the ride is back on for the Pomme Anglais .. yippee (I think!).  Just in major ‘catch-up’ mode as the fracture has scuppered my training plan and, unlike the Kiwi fruits, I have not cycled 90 miles so the ride on the 9^th May may well be my first ‘ test’ of a loooooong distance.

Lots more indoor riding and moaning – at least for the rest of this week – is on the agenda for me .. and – (a request for you, dear readers) .. please keep your fingers crossed for me to keep on mending so I make it to Paris sometime in May.. Thank you!

90 miles is a long way you know

... and if you are from the New World, in real money, it's actually 145 kms ... With Pomme Anglais still all broken and arm in a sling and thus restricted to indoor pedalling, accompanied by indoor moaning of course, it was left to Tulip and I to attempt the "on road" version of a 90 mile ride. Tulip suggested that I stay "at hers" (very Anglais lingo there)on Friday night so we could set out early on Saturday morning. 

I headed off with Lara to the station at around 6pm.When I got to the station I was then told by a man in an ill fitting national rail uniform that I couldn't take "that bike" on any train until after 7pm.  Naturally, I duly ignored him and got on a train.  I got one stop up the line where I had to change and another man in an equally ill fitting national rail uniform told me the same thing and then proceeded to take me hostage by standing next to me for 40 minutes to ensure that I didn't board any train before the magical hour.

The last 2 weeks of such typical spring weather (read monsoon downpour from a clear blue sky) accompanied by an at least 7 degrees celsius drop in temperature, has meant the Pomme Anglais on her indoor machine has ridden much more often and further than Tulip or I have managed .. so it was nervous times.  I will not subject you to a blow by blow of our ride to Cambridge (almost) and back, suffice to say it was a journey of reassurance and we will make it through the first day and we will make the ferry.

We were very lucky with the weather really only getting rained on twice. The biggest hazards were the baby bunnies running in our path on the most gorgeous of country lanes (ohhh noooice..) larks singing, other little birds dipping into our path and flying with us, grouse running alongside us, and field after field of serious hay fever sneezing and eye watering bright yellow canola plants in flower  ... and then there were the bugs!!  I have a honeycomb helmet to stop my gigantic brain from over heating and now I have realised that this means that going into the country means my helmet will become at least a 3 bugs per mile catcher (thank goodness I grew up on a farm!!!).

Oh yeah then there was the 3 mile stretch on a dual carriage way - for New Zealander's read major highway with like 7 lanes, and just as many drivers who couldn't wait a nano second for a cyclist to pass before pulling out!!.

Anyway ... T has a hill scale ... it's called the "B*@$ .." hill scale and it goes from 1 to 5.  Newgate Hill is the first one out and the last one back and it's a triple B ... and we made it!!!  So there .....

... and Mt Everest is a 15 B apparently!!!

an Olympian effort ...

Well...  no ... not really ... but last Sunday David and I did ride several circuits of the Box Hill loop.  Pomme Anglais was on pain killers and still trying to get Pearl E on the indoor wind machine, while making muttering noises about having the NHS sue me on her behalf. Tulip had already done 76 miles the day before and had to go back to the real world of washing clothes - you cannot believe how much washing cycling creates and therefore why the on the ride "rinse and hang over night" makes me nervous.

Anyway I digress ... the Box Hill loop is part of the Olympic Cycling Road race route. The Olympic cyclists will ride around it nine times (yes nine!!) after they have ridden out from London via Wales and once they've done Box Hill they will ride ride back to London, via Scotland. A round trip of 84 miles.

Here's a link to a rather long You Tube video showing you the zig zag (aka loop) course, taken from a bicycle naturally, complete with cyclists sound effects. Box Hill Loop 

I watch it from time to time just to see how far I can get through it before I feel well and truly motion sick. It has made me realise that any plans I had of making a video of the actual ride from my bike are totally foolish and would only make my friends want to throw up.

On the first time up I passed a guy on a hybrid bike puffing away and I found enough breath (to look cool) and said "I don't know why I am doing this" and he said "me either".  About 20 seconds later he shouted out to me "I remember now why I am doing this now ... it's for a cup of tea and lots of cake"...


.... and yes I practised wiping the dog poo off my shoe ...

It's week 13 ... and supposedly that's lucky for some...

It's a public holiday ... so naturally it's bleeding raining innit!!!  We didn't care, we had to carry on and give back to back rides our best shot to try and sort of emulate the ride - well getting on a bike every day and riding, if not the actual distances (and we sincerely hope not the weather conditions). 

It's Easter and the Easter bunnies are all around all over the world apparently. These two look like they could really do with knowing my secret of chocolate and how to eat it and stay slim eh!!

We got off to a good start.  Did the mental thing of committing to stay in our cleats and do the "push pull" to increase pedalling effectiveness, and not unclip in advance of any perceived danger, cos after all we are getting good at this now .. right!!.  The push pull (aka smooth out the peanut cycling rotation footprint), for you peasants (like me) who didn't know, is the act of pulling your foot smoothly through the stroke, thus invoking participation from your hamstrings into the equation - the second most powerful muscle group in your body after your quads (do I sound like I know what I am talking about?).  My friend David succinctly describes it "wiping the dog shit off your foot" - got the gist now??.

All was going well and then we hit a cycle path next to a pedestrian path.  Pomme Anglais (PA) was in the front and there were four pedestrians hogging the cycle path.  She did what she always does and politely, and very audibly, asked them to move off the path, which they preceded to do.  All four moved to the right and then one of them for some reason decided to very quickly go to the left, smack bang into the middle of the line that PA was biking.  All I can say is that you needed to be there to appreciate what happened next. If you had been I am sure you would agree that it would be a top contender for the best You Tube video that was never captured.  The tourist (who turned out to be Spanish with no anglais other than "sorry") quickly became shall we say "a human bike stand" and when he toppled he took Pearl E and PA with him.  After all threats of a diplomatic incident had passed (ie a battered and bruised PA was back on her feet and had checked that their was no damage to Pearl E) we set off again.

Despite many complaints of pain etc and continual flashing of (rather impressive in various shades of blue to almost psychedelic yellow green colours) hand and elbow bruises we kept kept to the training regime.  I encouraged PA and kept her spirits up with little diatribes like "huh call yourself British", "where's the keep calm and carry on then eh" and "wimp, moaning Pom", "the only reason you guys ever conquered anything was because you had ships and we couldn't swim", "the French will be happy to know you are afraid to bike through France" etc ... it worked and she kept on keeping on with the programme. As did Tulip who trained and trained in the weekend, putting in 120 miles!!!

So.. what's the epilogue to this tale of dedication and endurance... naturally, its that PA's elbow didn't seem to get any better so she went to A&E and had X-Rays and yeah, ok ... it's ah BROKEN!!  Well fractured actually (yes alright technically that is the same thing but it's a matter of degrees don't yah know).  A "radial head" fracture in fact!! 

So what to do ...well in a fit on "keep calm and carry on, I am British after all" PA has decided to give it her best shot to make the ride. Aided and abetted by a sling, visits to the fracture clinic, spin classes, Pearl E on the indoor wind machine, and homoeopathic provisions from Tulip ... and a little wine from me.  Go PA !!

Naturally we are all looking forward to week 14 of the programme!!

The itinerary for the ride ...

It's week 11 of the 16 week training programme and are we panicking ... are we what!!! Never ...just convincing ourselves that a chocolate break would be just the right thing this weekend, especially since a woman from Ghana told me just this very day the secret of how to eat chocolate and not only stay slim but to use it to help you stay slim.  I'm planning on it being my secret weapon in my quest to be popular ....

Anyway, I digress ... it's time now to share the itinerary - fresh off the Skyline events website .... I've added a little commentary of my own ...

 "Connecting two of the world's most chic capital cities the London to Paris bike ride is an
exciting charity cycle which any one can enjoy". ..well anyone prepared to put in 16 weeks quite hard training that is, and with the cash to invest in Sudocreme in the 10 litre bucket size 

Day 1: London to Calais
Our challenge begins bright and early from Crystal Palace heading south en route to the coast.  ...oh bright and early is like 6am after sleeping in a bunk in Crystal Palace that only a 6 stone teenager could find comfortable and if we miss the ferry then it becomes a biathlon 

Day 2: Calais to Abbeville
La belle France! Stunning picturesque countryside awaits us in northern France as we travel south. Fields and field of high pollen plants, but no animals, and zillions of tiny roads that provide limitless opportunities to get lost.  Poor old Abbeville was bombed almost completely to rubble during the second world war - but that does mean that the hotel we stay in will less than 60 years old which must be a plus surely

Day 3: Abbeville to Beauvais
Our route this morning follows the river Somme out of Abbeville. Beauvais is twinned with Maidstone in Kent, and they are around the same age, like really old innit.  Maidstone has two railway stations and Beauvais has one so Maidstone appears to be better off.  However, I imagine that trains do a) run and b) run on time to Beauvais, not sure that Maidstone is so lucky

Day 4: Beauvais to Paris
Our final day of cycling and the big push to Paris ,our final destination.  "The big push to Paris" I am scared to even ask what that is code for ... Beauvais is apparently 49 miles (79 kilometres) from Paris by motorway. Presumably not too much further by cycle way.  It is apparently tradition to lift your cycle above your head and have your picture taken with the Eiffel tower in the background ... then they make you ride your bike back out to the outskirts of Paris where the hotel is ... that bit isn't shown on the itinerary is it !!!


Day 5: Paris to London
The day is yours to soak up the Parisian way of life and explore the city. Eurostar home, arriving at St Pancras. Read lay face down in the carpet and wonder if your legs (and other bits) will ever be the same again!!!  I am guessing we will also be wondering where all the Parisians are as May is what they refer to as a Gruyere month.  This means that there are lots of public holidays that fall on either a Tuesday or a Thursday so it's a month of 4 times 4 day weekends and only one 5 day working week ... oh la la