We are ready to go .. will someone tell the weather

Tomorrow is the BIG day. Are we ready? Well ... the bikes are all serviced and Tulip has had some advice on how to reduce her pannier weight (read she was totting a mini caravan ...)  Lara is back in superb shape after her accident last weekend. Pearl E still has a few idiosyncrasies that come with cult Italian gear sets that are good to look at, lovely to listen to, but always just a little unco-operative at times ... so we are ... gulp... almost ready.

We have done as the programme said  and taken it easy training wise this week and concentrated on readiness planning aka how can we fit all we need on the bikes without taking a back pack, as we don't have access to our (minimal) luggage during the day. You need to do this over a beer of course, using one of the 1000s of iPhone apps available. So that's what Pomme Anglais and I did, while Tulip was off doing real readiness activities. I know we are making this look easy but believe me it's difficult, with or without beer!!.

Here's a quick 300 mile itinerary re-cap:

• Tuesday 8 May - stay overnight at Crystal Palace ready for the 5am rising the next day
• Wednesday 9 May - London to Calais via Kent & ferry from Dover - 95 miles
• Thursday 10 May - Calais to Abbeville - 75 miles
• Friday 11 May - Abbeville to Beauvais via the Somme - 70 miles
• Saturday 12 May - Beauvais to Paris - 60 miles

So far the weather is not looking kind. The forecast changes every few hours this time of year so there's always hope for sunshine.  It doesn't have to be warm, just fine and dry will do nicely thank you (if anyone with any weather magic is reading this little plea).

We intend to blog en route, if we are not sound asleep at 6pm every night that is ... so here we go .. wheeee ... 

The gloves are off …. the shorts are on!

Well, to be specific, the glove (singular) supporting my broken left arm (and poorly wrist) is off for a few hours of the day now, and my padded shorts are on!

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Padding is the word of the moment, I have decided.  As my bike went in for a service a few days ago, I asked them to add some padding to my handlebars to help with the vibrations of the roads – which I hope have less potholes in France than they do in the UK.  And now my handlebars looks like they need to go to Weight Watchers as they are fat and squidgy and, so far, very comfortable!
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Regarding the shorts, I have decided that layers upon layers are needed to assist in avoidance of chaffing... and this will be assisted with the ever present, Sudocrem!  I invested in some very sexy women’s cycling underwear - with extra padding for those all important parts.  These arrived ready for my little training ride today.    Along with my new compression knee length socks, I decided that, for our dedicated readers, I would share this  vision of me in my newly purchased underwear.  If you want NO MORE (!!) pictures of my underwear (I can hear you all saying 'no more' en masse!) – we need a few more donations to our charity … the clock is ticking as we cycle to France in a couple of days’ time and reveal to the French this wonderful depiction of beautiful British bike fashion..!!

Enjoy!

A lucky break .. and I am not referring to the snooker world championships!

Well, I have been a little quiet the last week or so.  Falling off a bike onto hard concrete over Easter damaged my arm more than I initially thought.  It was probably not helped by my Kiwi cycling companion insisting I get back on the bike and continue to ride - yes, and this picture is how I felt ( dialogue went something like this - Kiwi fruit "get back on that bike now", poor Pomme A "but it hurts ....").  Oh, to have the support of your fellow cyclists ....

So, after a visit to A&E (some 4 days later, as I am very tough!) and the necessary x-rays, I was informed I had fractured the radius bone right by the elbow (now I know why I could not straighten my arm and why it hurt so much) and resting the arm in a sling was the only thing to do.

Yesterday I went to the fracture clinic at the Charing X hospital for a follow-up appointment – more x-rays – and was informed that I was very lucky with where the break was ('lucky' would not be the first word I would use ..)!  It had not displaced (despite me playing in a couple of gigs over the weekend!) and I no longer needed the sling.  Physio appointment was needed and moving the arm was now the thing to do. 

When I asked if I could do the ride ..the doctor say ‘No’ …so I insisted on a 2^nd opinion!  Finally his consultant (and boss) said I could ride, but I would have to keep popping the pain killers en route, try not to fall off again (as if that was on the top of my ‘to do’ list ..umm? No!) and stop if it got worse – as I could do more damage ..eeek!

So, the ride is back on for the Pomme Anglais .. yippee (I think!).  Just in major ‘catch-up’ mode as the fracture has scuppered my training plan and, unlike the Kiwi fruits, I have not cycled 90 miles so the ride on the 9^th May may well be my first ‘ test’ of a loooooong distance.

Lots more indoor riding and moaning – at least for the rest of this week – is on the agenda for me .. and – (a request for you, dear readers) .. please keep your fingers crossed for me to keep on mending so I make it to Paris sometime in May.. Thank you!

an Olympian effort ...

Well...  no ... not really ... but last Sunday David and I did ride several circuits of the Box Hill loop.  Pomme Anglais was on pain killers and still trying to get Pearl E on the indoor wind machine, while making muttering noises about having the NHS sue me on her behalf. Tulip had already done 76 miles the day before and had to go back to the real world of washing clothes - you cannot believe how much washing cycling creates and therefore why the on the ride "rinse and hang over night" makes me nervous.

Anyway I digress ... the Box Hill loop is part of the Olympic Cycling Road race route. The Olympic cyclists will ride around it nine times (yes nine!!) after they have ridden out from London via Wales and once they've done Box Hill they will ride ride back to London, via Scotland. A round trip of 84 miles.

Here's a link to a rather long You Tube video showing you the zig zag (aka loop) course, taken from a bicycle naturally, complete with cyclists sound effects. Box Hill Loop 

I watch it from time to time just to see how far I can get through it before I feel well and truly motion sick. It has made me realise that any plans I had of making a video of the actual ride from my bike are totally foolish and would only make my friends want to throw up.

On the first time up I passed a guy on a hybrid bike puffing away and I found enough breath (to look cool) and said "I don't know why I am doing this" and he said "me either".  About 20 seconds later he shouted out to me "I remember now why I am doing this now ... it's for a cup of tea and lots of cake"...


.... and yes I practised wiping the dog poo off my shoe ...

It's week 13 ... and supposedly that's lucky for some...

It's a public holiday ... so naturally it's bleeding raining innit!!!  We didn't care, we had to carry on and give back to back rides our best shot to try and sort of emulate the ride - well getting on a bike every day and riding, if not the actual distances (and we sincerely hope not the weather conditions). 

It's Easter and the Easter bunnies are all around all over the world apparently. These two look like they could really do with knowing my secret of chocolate and how to eat it and stay slim eh!!

We got off to a good start.  Did the mental thing of committing to stay in our cleats and do the "push pull" to increase pedalling effectiveness, and not unclip in advance of any perceived danger, cos after all we are getting good at this now .. right!!.  The push pull (aka smooth out the peanut cycling rotation footprint), for you peasants (like me) who didn't know, is the act of pulling your foot smoothly through the stroke, thus invoking participation from your hamstrings into the equation - the second most powerful muscle group in your body after your quads (do I sound like I know what I am talking about?).  My friend David succinctly describes it "wiping the dog shit off your foot" - got the gist now??.

All was going well and then we hit a cycle path next to a pedestrian path.  Pomme Anglais (PA) was in the front and there were four pedestrians hogging the cycle path.  She did what she always does and politely, and very audibly, asked them to move off the path, which they preceded to do.  All four moved to the right and then one of them for some reason decided to very quickly go to the left, smack bang into the middle of the line that PA was biking.  All I can say is that you needed to be there to appreciate what happened next. If you had been I am sure you would agree that it would be a top contender for the best You Tube video that was never captured.  The tourist (who turned out to be Spanish with no anglais other than "sorry") quickly became shall we say "a human bike stand" and when he toppled he took Pearl E and PA with him.  After all threats of a diplomatic incident had passed (ie a battered and bruised PA was back on her feet and had checked that their was no damage to Pearl E) we set off again.

Despite many complaints of pain etc and continual flashing of (rather impressive in various shades of blue to almost psychedelic yellow green colours) hand and elbow bruises we kept kept to the training regime.  I encouraged PA and kept her spirits up with little diatribes like "huh call yourself British", "where's the keep calm and carry on then eh" and "wimp, moaning Pom", "the only reason you guys ever conquered anything was because you had ships and we couldn't swim", "the French will be happy to know you are afraid to bike through France" etc ... it worked and she kept on keeping on with the programme. As did Tulip who trained and trained in the weekend, putting in 120 miles!!!

So.. what's the epilogue to this tale of dedication and endurance... naturally, its that PA's elbow didn't seem to get any better so she went to A&E and had X-Rays and yeah, ok ... it's ah BROKEN!!  Well fractured actually (yes alright technically that is the same thing but it's a matter of degrees don't yah know).  A "radial head" fracture in fact!! 

So what to do ...well in a fit on "keep calm and carry on, I am British after all" PA has decided to give it her best shot to make the ride. Aided and abetted by a sling, visits to the fracture clinic, spin classes, Pearl E on the indoor wind machine, and homoeopathic provisions from Tulip ... and a little wine from me.  Go PA !!

Naturally we are all looking forward to week 14 of the programme!!

Oh .. it was a BIG weekend

Yes .. the first of the "week 10 onwards" training programme - two days back to back and bigger and bigger mileage weekends.  So the girl from Kings Cross took one last look at the Harry Potter platform and realised the only magic at play here was doing the hard yards or miles. I organised to go for a 60 miler around Richmond park with David (remember him - a kiwifruit - he nearly froze me to death the first time around Richmond Park!!). David did the mileage in the park a few weeks earlier as a recon, so he was ready to go and guide me though it (read drive me like a merciless personal trainer!!!).

Being a little behind in the "miles in the seat stakes",  Pomme Anglais decided she would accompany us for at least half of the journey.  We had a plan, and an organised meet up spot. David and I duly hit the park at about 7:45 am and no sign of her??. We eventually saw Pomme Anglais going the other way around the circuit and I waved and said cheerily "I'll meet you in the car park in 10 minutes". She hissed back (politely cos she is English after all) .. "I have been here since 6:45 am when you said we were meeting up at Roehampton Gate and I am freezing and going home". Umm err ... oh shite ... ok ok .. I admit I completely screwed it up (yeah lap it up you won't see it in print often). I blame the clock forward thing that happened the next day.

So how was it ... in a word HARD!!  I tried to convince David when we stopped for a drink and energy bar in-take that it wouldn't matter really if I only did 40 miles.  But he wasn't having a bar of it (no pun intended) and told me that as a treat we would go the short steep hill way as the last circuit!!!.  This is as opposed to the long, never ending undulating hill way!!  We did the 60 miles in 4:10 hours in actual "on the bike" time, as opposed to elapsed time. Kiwi's - that's 100 km!!! and all with no giving way on a left turn any longer.

I thought this was pretty good going but I do realise it will not be the sustained pace I will be capable of, or that we will travel at on the actual L to P ride (multiple toilet stops, me holding 3 bikes etc ... see earlier posts). The best part of the day came later when post shower we went with Gill and David to a little known (outside of Putney locals) fab Italian enoteca for lunch and a tiny dip into the 300 bin plus wine list as part of a belated celebration of Mo's birthday.

How was it afterwards.  Funny sensation, muscles etc all fine (lots of stretching before the hot bath and after), but wildly tired and almost dyslexic when trying to speak. Rehydration and refuelling with all the right stuff being paramount to recovery. Nothing a good nights sleep can't fix and so the next day (clocks forward and all) up early for a 40 miler.  Pomme Anglais was almost speaking to me again so we organised a foolproof meeting place and time and then did a Cycle Super Highway almost all the way to Barking (she said everyone was mad out there so I decided to turn around and come back to the city, where everyone is of course totally sane). Everything worked, and the legs were fine.  Thanks to Sudocreme other bits were fine too.  Upper body and arms/hands/fingers are proving to be much more problematic than legs or what you might think would be the most at risk areas.

It was all made much easier by the weather ... wonderful, sunny, warm and just so good for improving even the grumpiest of human nature.  The Thames sparkles, aided and abetted by the reflections of all the tourists smiles as they gaze down upon her as they enjoy London, doing things like staring up in awe at Big Ben. Their "ah Londres est tres manifique" idyllic bliss only momentarily shattered by a tired sweaty cyclist coming around the corner at speed shouting at them " get out of the middle of the road you morons - do you know how far I have ridden today".

Cycling in Norway

Yes cycling in Norway! That is if cycling on a stationary exercycle in the "trim room" on board a ship in Norwegian waters counts as cycling in Norway.  If it does then I can also claim to have cycled inside the Arctic Circle, on the ship of course.  So what's this all about then I hear you ask (yes you did, I heard you).  Last week I went to Norway and got on board a Hurtigruten cruise/cargo/car/passenger/mail boat that sailed up the west coast of Norway, calling at all the little towns on the way. The Hurtigruten line has been around for over 100 years and really is the link to all the towns along the coast, with the locals using it like we would use the buses or the tube in London really. I have no idea who that man is or how he got into my picture!

We were "hunting the northern lights".  The solar activity was at its highest peak so far in the year and the chances of seeing them once we were inside the arctic circle were excellent, as long as it wasn't cloudy.  Yeah well, let's just say that the hunt goes on, just like the week of cloudy nights.

I kept myself amused on the ship and sort of on track with my London to Paris training programme by cycling each day in the trim room.  The bikes were orientated (and bolted to the floor) in an east/west direction, and had the oddest shaped seats I've ever seen on an exercycle, which made them rather difficult to get comfortable on I must say.

When the ship listed to starboard I had to hang onto the handlebars for dear life to stop myself falling off the back of the bike.  When it listed to port I had to push back on the handlebars for fear of going right over the top of them.  I thought how embarrassing that would be.  First I specialise in falling off Lara at zero kms per hour and then I get bounced over the handlebars of a stationary exercycle ... that would be too much.  All in all with the rocking and rolling it was a weird sensation riding the bike ... but I stuck at it (hero). Five days after getting back on land I still have the "wobbles" and I am sure my swaying/rolling/listing cycling is a major contributing factor. 

Other things that I learnt were not a good idea on a cruise:

• trying to sit on a swiss ball with your legs off the ground on a ship in motion
• getting between the walking stick wielding brigade and the buffet at any time
• leaving your cabin curtains open when you have a deck outside your window
• spreading your huge map out on the floor while trying to calculate just when you might cross into the arctic circle, unless of course you enjoy having walking sticks helpfully but forcefully placed on points on the maps seconds after your fingers were placed there
• deciding to try the "drink of the day" in the bar

... and then you find some things where you just don't expect to find them ...

I can't finish this post without telling you that we went on a night time Husky sled ride - again to improve our chances of seeing the Northern Lights.  We didn't see them but we did get to eat reindeer stew and discover that Huskies are prone to flatulence and sitting downwind of them is not for the faint hearted.

 

It was good to be back in London, where the only hazards are trucks, cars, taxis, buses, pedestrians, mothers pushing buggies, and the government.