A lucky break .. and I am not referring to the snooker world championships!

Well, I have been a little quiet the last week or so.  Falling off a bike onto hard concrete over Easter damaged my arm more than I initially thought.  It was probably not helped by my Kiwi cycling companion insisting I get back on the bike and continue to ride - yes, and this picture is how I felt ( dialogue went something like this - Kiwi fruit "get back on that bike now", poor Pomme A "but it hurts ....").  Oh, to have the support of your fellow cyclists ....

So, after a visit to A&E (some 4 days later, as I am very tough!) and the necessary x-rays, I was informed I had fractured the radius bone right by the elbow (now I know why I could not straighten my arm and why it hurt so much) and resting the arm in a sling was the only thing to do.

Yesterday I went to the fracture clinic at the Charing X hospital for a follow-up appointment – more x-rays – and was informed that I was very lucky with where the break was ('lucky' would not be the first word I would use ..)!  It had not displaced (despite me playing in a couple of gigs over the weekend!) and I no longer needed the sling.  Physio appointment was needed and moving the arm was now the thing to do. 

When I asked if I could do the ride ..the doctor say ‘No’ …so I insisted on a 2^nd opinion!  Finally his consultant (and boss) said I could ride, but I would have to keep popping the pain killers en route, try not to fall off again (as if that was on the top of my ‘to do’ list ..umm? No!) and stop if it got worse – as I could do more damage ..eeek!

So, the ride is back on for the Pomme Anglais .. yippee (I think!).  Just in major ‘catch-up’ mode as the fracture has scuppered my training plan and, unlike the Kiwi fruits, I have not cycled 90 miles so the ride on the 9^th May may well be my first ‘ test’ of a loooooong distance.

Lots more indoor riding and moaning – at least for the rest of this week – is on the agenda for me .. and – (a request for you, dear readers) .. please keep your fingers crossed for me to keep on mending so I make it to Paris sometime in May.. Thank you!

90 miles is a long way you know

... and if you are from the New World, in real money, it's actually 145 kms ... With Pomme Anglais still all broken and arm in a sling and thus restricted to indoor pedalling, accompanied by indoor moaning of course, it was left to Tulip and I to attempt the "on road" version of a 90 mile ride. Tulip suggested that I stay "at hers" (very Anglais lingo there)on Friday night so we could set out early on Saturday morning. 

I headed off with Lara to the station at around 6pm.When I got to the station I was then told by a man in an ill fitting national rail uniform that I couldn't take "that bike" on any train until after 7pm.  Naturally, I duly ignored him and got on a train.  I got one stop up the line where I had to change and another man in an equally ill fitting national rail uniform told me the same thing and then proceeded to take me hostage by standing next to me for 40 minutes to ensure that I didn't board any train before the magical hour.

The last 2 weeks of such typical spring weather (read monsoon downpour from a clear blue sky) accompanied by an at least 7 degrees celsius drop in temperature, has meant the Pomme Anglais on her indoor machine has ridden much more often and further than Tulip or I have managed .. so it was nervous times.  I will not subject you to a blow by blow of our ride to Cambridge (almost) and back, suffice to say it was a journey of reassurance and we will make it through the first day and we will make the ferry.

We were very lucky with the weather really only getting rained on twice. The biggest hazards were the baby bunnies running in our path on the most gorgeous of country lanes (ohhh noooice..) larks singing, other little birds dipping into our path and flying with us, grouse running alongside us, and field after field of serious hay fever sneezing and eye watering bright yellow canola plants in flower  ... and then there were the bugs!!  I have a honeycomb helmet to stop my gigantic brain from over heating and now I have realised that this means that going into the country means my helmet will become at least a 3 bugs per mile catcher (thank goodness I grew up on a farm!!!).

Oh yeah then there was the 3 mile stretch on a dual carriage way - for New Zealander's read major highway with like 7 lanes, and just as many drivers who couldn't wait a nano second for a cyclist to pass before pulling out!!.

Anyway ... T has a hill scale ... it's called the "B*@$ .." hill scale and it goes from 1 to 5.  Newgate Hill is the first one out and the last one back and it's a triple B ... and we made it!!!  So there .....

... and Mt Everest is a 15 B apparently!!!

an Olympian effort ...

Well...  no ... not really ... but last Sunday David and I did ride several circuits of the Box Hill loop.  Pomme Anglais was on pain killers and still trying to get Pearl E on the indoor wind machine, while making muttering noises about having the NHS sue me on her behalf. Tulip had already done 76 miles the day before and had to go back to the real world of washing clothes - you cannot believe how much washing cycling creates and therefore why the on the ride "rinse and hang over night" makes me nervous.

Anyway I digress ... the Box Hill loop is part of the Olympic Cycling Road race route. The Olympic cyclists will ride around it nine times (yes nine!!) after they have ridden out from London via Wales and once they've done Box Hill they will ride ride back to London, via Scotland. A round trip of 84 miles.

Here's a link to a rather long You Tube video showing you the zig zag (aka loop) course, taken from a bicycle naturally, complete with cyclists sound effects. Box Hill Loop 

I watch it from time to time just to see how far I can get through it before I feel well and truly motion sick. It has made me realise that any plans I had of making a video of the actual ride from my bike are totally foolish and would only make my friends want to throw up.

On the first time up I passed a guy on a hybrid bike puffing away and I found enough breath (to look cool) and said "I don't know why I am doing this" and he said "me either".  About 20 seconds later he shouted out to me "I remember now why I am doing this now ... it's for a cup of tea and lots of cake"...


.... and yes I practised wiping the dog poo off my shoe ...

It's week 13 ... and supposedly that's lucky for some...

It's a public holiday ... so naturally it's bleeding raining innit!!!  We didn't care, we had to carry on and give back to back rides our best shot to try and sort of emulate the ride - well getting on a bike every day and riding, if not the actual distances (and we sincerely hope not the weather conditions). 

It's Easter and the Easter bunnies are all around all over the world apparently. These two look like they could really do with knowing my secret of chocolate and how to eat it and stay slim eh!!

We got off to a good start.  Did the mental thing of committing to stay in our cleats and do the "push pull" to increase pedalling effectiveness, and not unclip in advance of any perceived danger, cos after all we are getting good at this now .. right!!.  The push pull (aka smooth out the peanut cycling rotation footprint), for you peasants (like me) who didn't know, is the act of pulling your foot smoothly through the stroke, thus invoking participation from your hamstrings into the equation - the second most powerful muscle group in your body after your quads (do I sound like I know what I am talking about?).  My friend David succinctly describes it "wiping the dog shit off your foot" - got the gist now??.

All was going well and then we hit a cycle path next to a pedestrian path.  Pomme Anglais (PA) was in the front and there were four pedestrians hogging the cycle path.  She did what she always does and politely, and very audibly, asked them to move off the path, which they preceded to do.  All four moved to the right and then one of them for some reason decided to very quickly go to the left, smack bang into the middle of the line that PA was biking.  All I can say is that you needed to be there to appreciate what happened next. If you had been I am sure you would agree that it would be a top contender for the best You Tube video that was never captured.  The tourist (who turned out to be Spanish with no anglais other than "sorry") quickly became shall we say "a human bike stand" and when he toppled he took Pearl E and PA with him.  After all threats of a diplomatic incident had passed (ie a battered and bruised PA was back on her feet and had checked that their was no damage to Pearl E) we set off again.

Despite many complaints of pain etc and continual flashing of (rather impressive in various shades of blue to almost psychedelic yellow green colours) hand and elbow bruises we kept kept to the training regime.  I encouraged PA and kept her spirits up with little diatribes like "huh call yourself British", "where's the keep calm and carry on then eh" and "wimp, moaning Pom", "the only reason you guys ever conquered anything was because you had ships and we couldn't swim", "the French will be happy to know you are afraid to bike through France" etc ... it worked and she kept on keeping on with the programme. As did Tulip who trained and trained in the weekend, putting in 120 miles!!!

So.. what's the epilogue to this tale of dedication and endurance... naturally, its that PA's elbow didn't seem to get any better so she went to A&E and had X-Rays and yeah, ok ... it's ah BROKEN!!  Well fractured actually (yes alright technically that is the same thing but it's a matter of degrees don't yah know).  A "radial head" fracture in fact!! 

So what to do ...well in a fit on "keep calm and carry on, I am British after all" PA has decided to give it her best shot to make the ride. Aided and abetted by a sling, visits to the fracture clinic, spin classes, Pearl E on the indoor wind machine, and homoeopathic provisions from Tulip ... and a little wine from me.  Go PA !!

Naturally we are all looking forward to week 14 of the programme!!

The itinerary for the ride ...

It's week 11 of the 16 week training programme and are we panicking ... are we what!!! Never ...just convincing ourselves that a chocolate break would be just the right thing this weekend, especially since a woman from Ghana told me just this very day the secret of how to eat chocolate and not only stay slim but to use it to help you stay slim.  I'm planning on it being my secret weapon in my quest to be popular ....

Anyway, I digress ... it's time now to share the itinerary - fresh off the Skyline events website .... I've added a little commentary of my own ...

 "Connecting two of the world's most chic capital cities the London to Paris bike ride is an
exciting charity cycle which any one can enjoy". ..well anyone prepared to put in 16 weeks quite hard training that is, and with the cash to invest in Sudocreme in the 10 litre bucket size 

Day 1: London to Calais
Our challenge begins bright and early from Crystal Palace heading south en route to the coast.  ...oh bright and early is like 6am after sleeping in a bunk in Crystal Palace that only a 6 stone teenager could find comfortable and if we miss the ferry then it becomes a biathlon 

Day 2: Calais to Abbeville
La belle France! Stunning picturesque countryside awaits us in northern France as we travel south. Fields and field of high pollen plants, but no animals, and zillions of tiny roads that provide limitless opportunities to get lost.  Poor old Abbeville was bombed almost completely to rubble during the second world war - but that does mean that the hotel we stay in will less than 60 years old which must be a plus surely

Day 3: Abbeville to Beauvais
Our route this morning follows the river Somme out of Abbeville. Beauvais is twinned with Maidstone in Kent, and they are around the same age, like really old innit.  Maidstone has two railway stations and Beauvais has one so Maidstone appears to be better off.  However, I imagine that trains do a) run and b) run on time to Beauvais, not sure that Maidstone is so lucky

Day 4: Beauvais to Paris
Our final day of cycling and the big push to Paris ,our final destination.  "The big push to Paris" I am scared to even ask what that is code for ... Beauvais is apparently 49 miles (79 kilometres) from Paris by motorway. Presumably not too much further by cycle way.  It is apparently tradition to lift your cycle above your head and have your picture taken with the Eiffel tower in the background ... then they make you ride your bike back out to the outskirts of Paris where the hotel is ... that bit isn't shown on the itinerary is it !!!


Day 5: Paris to London
The day is yours to soak up the Parisian way of life and explore the city. Eurostar home, arriving at St Pancras. Read lay face down in the carpet and wonder if your legs (and other bits) will ever be the same again!!!  I am guessing we will also be wondering where all the Parisians are as May is what they refer to as a Gruyere month.  This means that there are lots of public holidays that fall on either a Tuesday or a Thursday so it's a month of 4 times 4 day weekends and only one 5 day working week ... oh la la

Oh .. it was a BIG weekend

Yes .. the first of the "week 10 onwards" training programme - two days back to back and bigger and bigger mileage weekends.  So the girl from Kings Cross took one last look at the Harry Potter platform and realised the only magic at play here was doing the hard yards or miles. I organised to go for a 60 miler around Richmond park with David (remember him - a kiwifruit - he nearly froze me to death the first time around Richmond Park!!). David did the mileage in the park a few weeks earlier as a recon, so he was ready to go and guide me though it (read drive me like a merciless personal trainer!!!).

Being a little behind in the "miles in the seat stakes",  Pomme Anglais decided she would accompany us for at least half of the journey.  We had a plan, and an organised meet up spot. David and I duly hit the park at about 7:45 am and no sign of her??. We eventually saw Pomme Anglais going the other way around the circuit and I waved and said cheerily "I'll meet you in the car park in 10 minutes". She hissed back (politely cos she is English after all) .. "I have been here since 6:45 am when you said we were meeting up at Roehampton Gate and I am freezing and going home". Umm err ... oh shite ... ok ok .. I admit I completely screwed it up (yeah lap it up you won't see it in print often). I blame the clock forward thing that happened the next day.

So how was it ... in a word HARD!!  I tried to convince David when we stopped for a drink and energy bar in-take that it wouldn't matter really if I only did 40 miles.  But he wasn't having a bar of it (no pun intended) and told me that as a treat we would go the short steep hill way as the last circuit!!!.  This is as opposed to the long, never ending undulating hill way!!  We did the 60 miles in 4:10 hours in actual "on the bike" time, as opposed to elapsed time. Kiwi's - that's 100 km!!! and all with no giving way on a left turn any longer.

I thought this was pretty good going but I do realise it will not be the sustained pace I will be capable of, or that we will travel at on the actual L to P ride (multiple toilet stops, me holding 3 bikes etc ... see earlier posts). The best part of the day came later when post shower we went with Gill and David to a little known (outside of Putney locals) fab Italian enoteca for lunch and a tiny dip into the 300 bin plus wine list as part of a belated celebration of Mo's birthday.

How was it afterwards.  Funny sensation, muscles etc all fine (lots of stretching before the hot bath and after), but wildly tired and almost dyslexic when trying to speak. Rehydration and refuelling with all the right stuff being paramount to recovery. Nothing a good nights sleep can't fix and so the next day (clocks forward and all) up early for a 40 miler.  Pomme Anglais was almost speaking to me again so we organised a foolproof meeting place and time and then did a Cycle Super Highway almost all the way to Barking (she said everyone was mad out there so I decided to turn around and come back to the city, where everyone is of course totally sane). Everything worked, and the legs were fine.  Thanks to Sudocreme other bits were fine too.  Upper body and arms/hands/fingers are proving to be much more problematic than legs or what you might think would be the most at risk areas.

It was all made much easier by the weather ... wonderful, sunny, warm and just so good for improving even the grumpiest of human nature.  The Thames sparkles, aided and abetted by the reflections of all the tourists smiles as they gaze down upon her as they enjoy London, doing things like staring up in awe at Big Ben. Their "ah Londres est tres manifique" idyllic bliss only momentarily shattered by a tired sweaty cyclist coming around the corner at speed shouting at them " get out of the middle of the road you morons - do you know how far I have ridden today".

Hi Ho the merry oh .. here we go .. "undulating"

 Tulip bought herself a "get out there and cycle in the country through lovely back roads and minimum time on the big roads BOOK", and already she's done a few rides from it.  In fact, she had already done the ride we did Sunday on the day before ... in the pouring rain, I might add. Suzanne declined the invite for the ride (filing her nails, washing her hair or a major leak in her bathroom that was flooding her kitchen ... can't quite remember which one). Tulip enlisted her friend Renata to accompany us - and she came on her mountain bike!!

We set off from Harpenden, with the intention of doing a "loop".  It was so refreshing to ride the country roads. I breathed in the fresh air and smiled at every little outcrop of daffodils that I saw.  It was lovely, and best of all Tulip was in charge of the map and directions, so Renata (who I later discovered has both no sense of orientation or recognition of landmarks) and I were just like biking in unencumbered bliss ... until the rain and hills (sorry undulations) that was!!! 

We struck one killer hill, which I suspect will be similar to the "killer hill" that past London to Paris cyclists have talked about getting out of  Calais ... all I can say (now that I can finally speak again) is that Renata will manage that on her mountain bike even if we don't !!!

The weather wasn't the great so we decided to press on to just beyond halfway, as the important psychological mind thingie, and stop at Streatley to have a break/lunch.  We stopped at "The Chequers" where the publican told us he was sorry but all tables were booked (Mothering day) but we could have a drink and maybe be able to order something later .. so we bought a drink went around the corner and started eating our refuel snack food. Then he came around and went off about this being poor form us eating in his hotel,  but of course forgetting his entire previous conversation with us that we could drink what we had paid for ... very bad form Mr Chequers of Streatley ...  very bad form indeed!!!  ...and if you can't cope with Mother's Day then don't do it ... and just go ahead and join the ranks of open misogynists ... perhaps

Anyway, the rest of the ride went ok .. in the drizzle .. the monotony only broken by farm after farm of watercress.. that really impressed Renata.  Me .. I was really impressed that Tulip did it 2 days back to back despite the lack of a decent cake in Harpenden. At the end of the ride we did the necessary top up on the best of the cake and sugar we could find ...

... and then back to London and I thought "oh nice to be back in the city" .. that is until the complete (almost homicidal) white van driver nearly took me out, scuppered a motorcyclist and two cars as he ran a very very red light at high speed. If the car drivers had not had such good reactions I would have been squashed between the car and the van!! Yes .. White Mercedes Van rego LYBD KWN - you know you who are!! Why you refused to look me in the eye when I banged on your passenger window just confirmed your guilt. Pretty soon you'll have family on the street on a bike that get hurt by a stupid white van driver .. see how you feel then you p ....

... so as not to end on a down note ... London and the Olympics .. and the Boris bikes are expanding all over the east end .. what fun this will all be ... are you coming ??

Cycling in Norway

Yes cycling in Norway! That is if cycling on a stationary exercycle in the "trim room" on board a ship in Norwegian waters counts as cycling in Norway.  If it does then I can also claim to have cycled inside the Arctic Circle, on the ship of course.  So what's this all about then I hear you ask (yes you did, I heard you).  Last week I went to Norway and got on board a Hurtigruten cruise/cargo/car/passenger/mail boat that sailed up the west coast of Norway, calling at all the little towns on the way. The Hurtigruten line has been around for over 100 years and really is the link to all the towns along the coast, with the locals using it like we would use the buses or the tube in London really. I have no idea who that man is or how he got into my picture!

We were "hunting the northern lights".  The solar activity was at its highest peak so far in the year and the chances of seeing them once we were inside the arctic circle were excellent, as long as it wasn't cloudy.  Yeah well, let's just say that the hunt goes on, just like the week of cloudy nights.

I kept myself amused on the ship and sort of on track with my London to Paris training programme by cycling each day in the trim room.  The bikes were orientated (and bolted to the floor) in an east/west direction, and had the oddest shaped seats I've ever seen on an exercycle, which made them rather difficult to get comfortable on I must say.

When the ship listed to starboard I had to hang onto the handlebars for dear life to stop myself falling off the back of the bike.  When it listed to port I had to push back on the handlebars for fear of going right over the top of them.  I thought how embarrassing that would be.  First I specialise in falling off Lara at zero kms per hour and then I get bounced over the handlebars of a stationary exercycle ... that would be too much.  All in all with the rocking and rolling it was a weird sensation riding the bike ... but I stuck at it (hero). Five days after getting back on land I still have the "wobbles" and I am sure my swaying/rolling/listing cycling is a major contributing factor. 

Other things that I learnt were not a good idea on a cruise:

• trying to sit on a swiss ball with your legs off the ground on a ship in motion
• getting between the walking stick wielding brigade and the buffet at any time
• leaving your cabin curtains open when you have a deck outside your window
• spreading your huge map out on the floor while trying to calculate just when you might cross into the arctic circle, unless of course you enjoy having walking sticks helpfully but forcefully placed on points on the maps seconds after your fingers were placed there
• deciding to try the "drink of the day" in the bar

... and then you find some things where you just don't expect to find them ...

I can't finish this post without telling you that we went on a night time Husky sled ride - again to improve our chances of seeing the Northern Lights.  We didn't see them but we did get to eat reindeer stew and discover that Huskies are prone to flatulence and sitting downwind of them is not for the faint hearted.

 

It was good to be back in London, where the only hazards are trucks, cars, taxis, buses, pedestrians, mothers pushing buggies, and the government.

Singing in the rain ...

... and the tune was "this is all terribly unpleasant, cycling when it's dreadfully inclement, but in the best of British tradition, we shall keep calm and carry on".  Being from the colonies myself I was thinking of an updated version of the classic. It goes like this ...


Yes dear dear reader, today was a 40 mile day and it had to be done come rain, hail or shine, and rain it did. We were undeterred  (or at least we pretended to be much more undeterred to one another than we actually were) because after all May can be a very wet month in both the UK and France, so best we had some experience of cycling in the rain.  Almost more importantly, we needed to test out our wet weather gear to see if it was all up to snuff and would actually keep us dry(ish)! On went the wet weather trousers and jackets, the all important overshoes and the gloves. Yes well I forgot my waterproof gloves and so I had on a wind-proof pair in fetching fluro.

As we got into the ride and saw who else was actually out and about on such a miserable day we also realised that the day belonged to a) the dedicated in training for whatever, b) families with small children suffering from cabin fever, and c) the shall we say the "differently wrapped", mostly out walking their dogs in the rain.

Much to her chagrin, the "differently wrapped" appeared to want to take any and all opportunities to have words with Pomme Anglais whether she was stationary or not. For some reason they didn't accost me. Could have been that my glasses were both fogged up and covered in rain, that I didn't appear stable on my bike, or that they mistook my look/grimace of "this is fun this is fun" as a signal that I should be given a wide berth!

 Pomme Anglais, being all British and terribly polite, was duly approached by several people in the course of the ride and informed (amongst other things) that "she should not look at people walking their dogs while she was talking to her fellow cyclists because the person walking the dog could think she was talking about them". Another goodie was that she should not be cycling on the cycling path when there were people with pushchairs on said cycle path, as opposed to the perfectly good footpath for pedestrians opposite.

I laughed, and was duly rewarded by a car driving at speed in a fit of really sensible and defensive driving given the conditions thru a deep pool of water, which duly saw me wear about 40 litres of it full on (you pillock whomever you were!!).  Pomme Anglais then further exacted revenged on me laughing at her by braking unexpectedly in the subway and I rear ended her and yes down I went again at zero kms an hour.  So now that's four bite the tarmac incidents since the arrival of cleats! Actually, it's five as I fell off again later at zero kms when trying to press a pedestrian cross signal - different knee skinned this time yah what a bonus!!!

So taa daahh - the results of the wet weather gear trials, noting of course that we were biking in rain that began to feel like needles because we were going so fast!  Trousers and jacket rock! Over shoes must be made by angels and windproof gloves are definitely not waterproof.  Right, I am off to Norway to see the Northern Lights, sailing up the coast on a mail boat.  Pomme Anglais and kiwifruit numero deux will be keeping you entertained in my absence.

Bike Porn

The other day we couldn't access our blog, the message said it had been removed for unauthorised activity.  I rang Suzanne and she was on the verge of admitting that it must have been her that did something "accidentally and potentially illegal" , when bingo it came back - a little technical hitch at Blogger. Speaking on which no doubt everyone is acquainted with Google's new privacy and data protection policy ... now there's an oxymoron for you!

A while ago I went to see a Top Gear Live show in London. One of the segments in the show is called "car porn". They roll out the best in super luxury sports cars.  At the beginning you think "who would spend that much money on a car like that, and where are you ever going to be able to drive it to get to even half of it's top speed anyway?"  Then you find yourself going "actually that's rather nice, I like that, I could see myself in that, I wonder how much they are second hand".  Well ... given that the same thing is starting to happen to me when I go into bike shops (Condor in particular) I thought it was time we had a little porn of our own.

So here we go ... "bike porn".

They all have names of course .. cool names like Squadra, Leggero and Terra-x and frame descriptions to make you go weak at the knees - for example "Dedacciai Custom Nero Forza Monocoque" and "EM2 triple-butted Scandium tubing".

 I have no idea what any of it means, but since when did that matter when what you are looking at is soooo sexy (ok I can hear you now shaking your heads and going "tsk tsk").  well .. they are sexy machines.

These "cute" little machines on the left however, are not sexy machines. At the risk of raising ire amongst their supporters, I have to say I've not noticed any particularly sexy folks riding these little numbers either. If you are really trendy you wear street clothes and ride a single speed or a "fixee" ... think pre and post WWII and modern day France. Anyway .. I know folding bikes are functional but frankly so are the 3 speed London tanks known as "Boris Bikes", which I continue to ride to and fro around town, to the supermarket, the train station etc. Like you imagine for one moment  I would leave Lara locked up somewhere for 8 hours plus out of my sight, next to dusty and greasy undesirables .. I don't think so!!


Here's one more piece of bike porn to leave your drooling ... and no I am not going to tell you what it said on the price tag.  Ladies never ask the price ... and gentlemen never tell ....

Oh I almost forgot. A heart felt thanks to all of you who saw the last blog post about my injuries and asked me ... "is Lara was ok?" - she really appreciated it!!!

Bleeding Lost ....

....well actually that should be "bleeding" and "lost" ...but I am getting ahead of myself.  The training plan for this week called for a 40 mile ride (that's 64 kms in really money).  Suzanne had this great idea to ride on the Grand Union canal towpath up to Watford to her friend Paul's house.  And I thought "yeah great idea".  The day dawned bright, sunny and warm, thus continuing to support my theory that winter has been restricted to two weeks this year and Spring has well and truly sprung.

We got on the Grand Union canal towpath in Brentford and set off at pace.  Well ... at pace for all of two minutes until we came to an unexpected and rather high humpback bridge with a 45 degree approach. Suzanne came to a sudden stop ... and I rear ended her. Down I went at zero kms an hour, still clipped in.  After ensuring that I hadn't scratched her precious PearlE she helped me up ... so she could check that I hadn't scratched Lara!!.

Back on the bike.  The surface and condition of the towpath was shall we say "variable" at best and we decided to get off and onto a road when it got really rough, for fear of getting a puncture. As we cruised up to an intersection and stopped, I uncleated my right foot and then proceeded to try and put my left foot down.  Result, down I went again at zero kilometres an hour, landing on the footpath on my elbow and bashing the back of my new helmet on the tarmac (thank goodness for my helmet). This one hurt a little more than the last one, but everything seemed intact so we got back on the towpath again.  We saw a railway station and I asked a man walking his dog which one it was and he said "West Drayton". I said "er umm Suzanne, that's on the way to Slough, is Slough anywhere near Watford?". "er umm No" she said. Then we spotted a sign that said "Slough arm of the Grand Union Canal".  Luckily we also spotted a waterside pub and Suzanne said "I need the loo" (see my earlier blog post re me being the one holding the bikes outside public loos in France on the ride).

I decided that I should check my elbow as it was a little sore and when I took my jacket off and bent my elbow blood squirted out at Suzanne who said "eeek it's split down to bone, we need to get you to the hospital, and you must keep it sterile" .. and then promptly shoved her much used looking tissue into it, before packing me off to the toilet to see how bad it was and to wash it.  When I got back she had got us a beer each, she said it was needed for the pain ... hers!

By now of course we knew that we were lost and wildly off course, so with the aid of the iPhone cycling app on my phone we worked out where we were and a general direction to get us to Watford by road. En route we had to carry our bikes through a closed road covered in mud, climb lots of hills, get lost several more times, and Suzanne got a bit terse (I of course remained the epitome of sweetness and light for the whole duration) but we did eventually get there, albeit about 4 hours later than planned. Luckily for me both Paul and his partner are trained in first aid and have a first aid cabinet the size of a walk in wardrobe.  He cleaned me up and put plastic stitches and bandages on my elbow and gave me a thing to wear to constrain movement to assist in the healing. Then he gave us the most delicious baked potatoes I have eaten in a very long time. His last act of generosity was to plot our route home ... on the tube!  I felt a little conspicious taking Lara on the tube through central London on a Saturday night, but I was so tired I quickly got over it.

When we set up the blog and I wrote about sharing our moments of pain along the way, I didn't realise that the pains would be mine!! Or, that I would rapidly become an expert in inflicting the most damage on myself by falling off at zero kms an hour ... no more please ...
        

What do cyclists eat then

Well you could be forgiven for thinking that they don't actually eat at all, given that you seem to have to go at least two sizes bigger in cycling clothing than you normally wear, and this includes the shoes as well!!!  They do eat, and as we are discovering, "it's food Jim but not as we know it".

We did a 30 mile ride (that's 48 kilometres in real money) yesterday and decided that we should really venture into the world of cycling nutrition. Cos as enjoyable as a pint of beer and packet of pork scratchings are, they are not really the recommended fuel for a long ride.

So we bought a selection of "protein and energy bars" that fit conveniently into the pocket of your cycling shirt, and decided on a taste test.  On the first bite of the yoghurt bar we decided that the best rating scale would be a 1 to 5 "blurk-ometer" ie a polite way of saying how likely they were to make you throw up. The higher the blurko-meter rating the higher the likelihood. Really only up to BB is actually edible in my book anyway.

• Cliff bar - B - it looks and tastes like an Anzac biscuit from my homeland

• Mule Bar - BB - it did taste a bit like strudel and didn't have too many raisins to stick in your teeth

• Promax diet - BB - technically a high protein bar for weight loss, chocolately with a slightly funny texture

• ZV9 protein recovery bar - BBBBB - disgusting, it was like trying to eat bubble gum and it even looked awful like the yoghurt coating had melted and then reconstituted. 

Oh .. and I have it on good authority from Pomme Anglais that the best pork scratchings come from Birmingham apparently ...

Is this an Eiffel Tower I see before me … or..?

Hello readers!  Firstly I have not been stewing in my own ‘pomme’ juices and forgetting about our wonderful blog, I started a new job this week so have been a little preoccupied. 

However, I have a little story I wanted to share with you all.  So, I hope you are sitting comfortably…?  Good, so I will begin..

I have spent this week being ‘induced’ .. well, going through the induction process with the new work.  I was with a group of disparate new hires and part of the course was the usual ‘tell us something interesting about yourself’ …

As the bike ride is so close to my heart I talked about this – the training programme, the new bike, the charity, my two Kiwi fruits that will be following me miles behind en route etc. etc. …

Over coffee we all ended up chatting about these new found interesting things about our colleagues and one of the guys – I shall call him ‘Pete’ to keep anonymity – shared with me that he too did the London to Paris charity ride a few years ago. 

I was so excited to meet someone that had done it and promptly started to ask him questions (how was it for him, did he stick to the training plan, what sort of bike did he have, did he use cleats or not, how was his bum (en route, not at the moment of course) … all of those ‘sad’ questions that have suddenly become so very important).  However Pete stopped me mid questioning and shared with me how it was for him.

Pete had cycled with his chums all the way to Dover, staying in some youth hostel where he told me there was a fight going on outside as they got there (but they were so tried it did not matter).  They crossed on the ferry in the morning and cycled (uphill) out of Calais.  He said the journey throughout France was great – pretty flat and interesting.  They entered into Paris on the final day and he and his friends cycled towards their final destination – the Eiffel Tower – with great great excitement.

He then said that the next memory he had was waking up in a French hospital.  Somehow along the final metres toward the Tour Eiffel he managed to fall off his bike and knock himself out.

He is now really envious about me doing the ride and wished me lots of luck. 

I guess the moral of the story is to keep pedalling – carefully – right to the end of the road.. I could not imagine doing 298.5 miles and falling on the last 0.5 mile, but talking to Pete, I now know this ‘could’ happen (especially if I do not get used to my cleats)!

    

So it snowed in London then

Well it snowed all over the UK in the weekend and, amazingly in London, it snowed almost on cue and to the depth that the Met office predicted.  It has also made Mr Global Cooling New Ice Age rather happy as his prediction models that seem to have let him down badly through December and January have come good again. This is just after 6pm when it had really just started to fall.

However, the 4cm plus of snow put pave to sunday's planned cycle ride around Richmond Park.  This wasn't so good, as I had the latest addition to my ever increasing "sad git" wardrobe ready to try out. Yes ... over shoes and, yes they look like scuba boots and, yes they are made of the same material.

I really felt the need for a ride too as my great idea of going for a ride on Friday night after work when "everyone else would be in the pubs so the streets would be clear" turned into a nightmare. I chose a route that seemed to have also been selected by every truck driver in London at the time as their means of exiting the city. I went on one of the Cycle Super highways to practise with my cleats. This called for a great deal of concentration and as a result I realised that when I thought about unclipping and attempted it that for some reason I drifted into the right hand side lane, much to the alarm of on-coming cyclists.  Worse, in riding on the right, I was in serious danger of being seen as "eurocentric", a position heavily frowned upon here in the UK right now!!

After 30 minutes or so I decided to turn back and head for home, taking a different route back through the city.  Slap bang into a closed road, where there were several signs shouting "Cyclists Dismount" rather loudly.  My last brush with the law still fresh in my mind, I decided it was best to concur, so I got off and pushed Lara down the footpath.

Outside Cannon Street station I saw this obviously grumpy old guy rudely pushing people aside as he attempted to cut through the pedestrian traffic against the flow to get into the station.  As he made it to me, he didn't realise I was pushing a bike and barrelled straight into Lara.  My complete fluro "sad git" outfit and helmet was clearly not enough of a clue that I might actually have a bike for this charming chap.  There followed a rather heated exchange in which I was forced to cast aspersions upon his ancestors.  Came home and cleaned Lara!

Well they said it would happen ... and it did already

So ... it's simple to fit cleats and bung them into the pedals - yeah right!!! After a less than successful stint in the park by myself,  I  rode to Condor to get them fitted properly and my pedals tuned and everything greased and all the rest .... right back on the bike.  Day 1 was good, slow and cautious, but the sensation was good.

ok ok then I got a bit over confident and ignored what the little "uncleat, uncleat, be prepared for intersections, no matter how quiet, cos you are a day 2 novice" voices were saying in my cycle safely consciousness.  And then and unplanned stop ... and BAM... well more like "aagghh oh no" and down I went.  So, I have the kind of injuries you sustain when falling off at less than 1 km an hour - a scraped knee, a bruised shoulder, but no real blood, and it doesn't count if there's no blood according to my motorcyclist mate!!  In my own defence, it is not that intuitive (yet) clicking in and out of the cleats.

All that aside, I could feel in a short space of time the difference that real bike shoes with cleats will make to the ride.  However, the faster you go the colder your feet seem to get as well.  So naturally I have now bought my shoes some wet weather and keep warm "over shoes".  These have to be the saddest addition to the sad git wardrobe to-date.

I suspect that my experience is mild compared to some of the other crash stories I have heard ... I'd like to keep it that way if at all possible.

Un Deux Trois… (Cat Sank…meow!)

OK OK .. it may be close to full moon but I can assure you Ms Pomme Anglaise has not gone totally looney tunes. 

Today I had a wee epiphany (if epiphanies can be small).  As my lovely Condor Italia RC (in beautiful Pearl E White) continued to give me a little grief in changing from (what I technically call) ‘little cog to big cog where the pedal thingies are at the front’ , I took her back to the shop to see if they could help.  The issue from my perspective was the movement I had to make with my left hand to shift the beautifully Italian crafted Campagnolo Veloce gear leaver to move from one cog to the other. .. in short, my little fingers did not seem to want to stretch the virtual 90 degree angle I needed to sweep the lever across to get to that big cog (and hence have the ability to speed off at those all-important traffic lights etc.).

So, off went ‘Pearl E’ to the mechanic and, very soon afterwards, Julian (my new best friend at Condor!) came back with an update for me.  As it transpires, the left hand lever did not have to be pushed the whole 90 degrees in one fell swoop, I could move to the big cog by clicking the lever not once, not twice, but three times in much smaller movements!  This was great news .. so I rode home this afternoon, with ‘un deux trois’ going through my head, the gears shifting easily, my little hands being happy that they are not being stretched to breaking point.  And hopefully the cat will not sink …   that’s all folks (well, for today anyway!)…

Shoes glorious shoes ... we're anxious to try them

Yes dear reader it is finally time to move to the next level of cycling ... real cycling shoes that clip you into the pedals. These let you pull as well as push and in theory should result in a 25 - 30% gain in power, efficiency, general well being, and, improve your chance of a lottery win!  This all hinges on it becoming second nature to be able to "unclip" your shoe from the peddle to be able to put your foot down on the road in both planned and unplanned stopping manoeuvres. 

It is very important that the shoes are equally as stylish as the rest of the cycling wear, so as not to wreck the overall "sad git" image we have been building to-date.  The choice of shoes for women was proving to be a tad disappointing as my search had so far turned up models in either white (will get dirty) or Barbie pink and blue (better suited to Paris Hilton day wear).  And then .... I found these.  Are these sexy shoes or what - the cycle shoes are the ones on the right of the picture.

Everyone has said that with cleats you will fall off sooner or later - great .. looking forward to that NOT. Apparently it even happens to very experienced cyclists.  In fact, a very experienced cyclist I know recently found herself upside down in a deep ditch on the side of a country road with the bike on top of her and both feet still cleated into the peddles. It took about 20 minutes to free herself as she lay in the ditch with her dogs staring down at her and not a car in sight. More on our adventures into the joys of learning to use the new shoes and cleats later.